The End of an Era

"Everybody Loves Raymond" ended tonight. It started with a one hour retrospective on the show and then the finale. It was short. It was simple. It was perfect.

Which leads me to contemplate again how many things have come to an end in my life, and how many things are just beginning. It's not just that show--it's what the show signifies. That show has been a sort of glue for me and my family. When I lived at home I knew that every Monday night we'd be home at 9:00 to watch that show, and we'd watch it as a family. When I go home for the summer there will be no more of that. No more original episodes, anyway. Where will we be at 9:00 now on Monday nights? Scattered. Not together.

I have come to the conclusion that I hate change. I hate change. I guess it's because my life has changed so much. Things were so much simpler when I was little. I was naive and young enough to think that my life wouldn't change, and now that I'm older I realize that I don't want it to change still. And yet, the change has made me grow as a person. I wouldn't have met my dear friends, had such great experiences, done so many great things. As bad as it seemed at the time the changes were all good.

For some reason I don't think "ELR" ending will be a good change. We'll lose that family time. Which, even though my family is chock full of loons, I will miss. My family could make it's own mental institution. But hey, at least we'd all be together.

And now so much is ending. "ELR." My first year away from home at school. Family time. Free time. My childhood keeps slipping away, and I can't seem to get a hold of it. It's getting harder and harder to remember certain things, but it's reassuring to know that when I see glow sticks that I will remember Renee and our trip to the dollar store. I can hear a Britney Spears song and remember my super-embarassing dance in front of Suzanne and Robyn, and how ridiculous I really looked. The beach reminds me of my father and uncle and a lost bathing suit in the rough current and a funny moment in Wal-Mart, and minivans always make me remember the all too embarassing situation in Florida when nine people tried to jam themselves and their luggage into it. Walgreens makes me smile at Mom and Lindsey's seven hour trip to "get bread." Taco Bell makes me think of Ben and smile, and I will always remember April 30th as the day I lost one of the most important people in my life.

So I guess, after writing that, that I do remember. I can't forget. Sometimes it helps to just sort it all out in writing. While these things are ending, so much is just beginning. It's these new beginnings that I'm thankful for, and I'm thankful for all the experiences I've had and the people in my life. When something ends, something new begins. And while change can be a great thing, I still don't want it to happen. I guess it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks, isn't it?