Unusual Usuals

Okay, are you ready for this? I knew I was in Florida when I saw the "jess mareed" sign on the Geo Metro, but today I found some new names that apparently are common down here in the Sunshine State...and I thought where I originally came from was different. Here they are, the "unusual usuals."
And let's be clear about something--these are actual names printed on everything, with birth certificates to back them up. These poor children!

1. Sha-zamm
2. Stayfree (Yes, like the maxi, but an actual child)
3. Little Jimmy. First name on birth certificate: Little Middle name: Jimmy. Little Jimmy something. Sweet kid, but scarred for life...

Anyway, just a little taste of home. I thought my hometown was hicky, but this definitely tops it. But, if you like these names, feel free to use them. They're on me!

How Things Have Changed

What an understatement. My life has changed so much since the last time I blogged. I'm keeping with my track record and haven't talked to practically anybody in ages. Time just goes too fast. It's funny--I've been waiting for six years to finally graduate, move, and get a teaching position, and now that I have I realize that the time has flown by.

I am finally, finally down here in Florida teaching. It's been tough, but I'm loving it. This is what I've been waiting for, and I'm exactly where I want to be. Having the freedom to do what I want, when I want for the most part, has been great. I miss my crazy family, but I'll be seeing them at Christmas.

This year has been absolutely crazy, but in a good way. My sister and I graduated, my brother got married, I moved, got a new job and a new apartment--the list goes on and on. And I've already learned so much that I thought I'd share it with you. I have more than enough material for my novel, which I am going to start. I hope somebody will be crazy enough to buy it. Anyway, here is what I've learned this year:

1) Never think you are too old to argue with your mother. My uncle drove my grandmother, mother, and myself to the airport, and it was a thrill ride. My uncle, who is in his fifties, argued with my grandmother, who is in her seventies, about which road to take to best get to the Interstate. I realize this may seem like a viable argument, but take into consideration that A, they (the roads) are less than a mile apart, B, they both connect to the Interstate, C, we were already on one of the aforementioned roads when the fighting started, and D, this argument continued until we reached the airport. It was an extremely long two hours. Over something that took five minutes. And that they continued to argue about it for the next two weeks. Oy vey.

2) Never, ever think that clear skies mean flights will not be delayed. My flight never reached the airport due to bad weather, and when I finally reached the airport to take a connecting flight I'd missed it by an hour.

3) Airline employees, especially around midnight, get extremely annoyed with people who have the decency to talk to them. Especially if the person speaking to them doesn't understand what they are saying, has questions, and is trying to catch another flight. Consider the following conversation, which I hold to be the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
Me: Hi. I just came from **** Airport, and my flight was delayed due to bad weather. I missed my connecting flight here because of that. Is there any other flight available to [my ultimate destination]?
Airline Employee: Why did you miss your flight?
Me: There was a storm, and the plane didn't get to the airport until an hour ago. I just got here, and my connecting flight left an hour ago.
AE: You missed your flight? Why didn't you make your connecting flight?
Me: The plane didn't get to **** Airport until an hour ago. I just got here, and I missed my connecting flight because of that. Can you help me?
AE: I don't understand. Let me check. (Checks computer.) This isn't my job, there are many people who've missed their flights, and we all have to get somewhere. (Click, click, click.) We have flights leaving Sunday. (It is now Friday night/Extremely Early Saturday morning.)
Me: Is there any earlier flights that take off? I start a new job Monday, and I'm supposed to move into a new apartment tomorrow.
AE: I don't know what you want me to do. Where are your tickets?
We present her with our tickets, and she looks at them, then back at us.
AE: You're going to ****?
Me: Yes.
AE: Well...here's what we'll do. Our flights are booked, but you can be put on standby. If people don't show, you get their seats. We won't know until morning.
Me: So there isn't a good chance we'll be leaving for [our ultimate destination] tomorrow?
AE: I don't know what you want me to do. It's not my fault you missed your flight.
Me: What? It's not my fault either. Your airline's plane didn't show up until an hour ago. Then, I missed the connecting flight I had booked with your airline. I'd just like to get to [destination], with your airline. Is there any way you could check another airline to see if they have any available flights?
AE: [without checking computer] There are no other flights available. If you'd have gotten here on time and made your flight you wouldn't be having a problem. It's not my fault you missed your flight.
Me: [Tired, frustrated.] It's not my fault either. Are you telling me there's nothing you can do for me?
AE: I'll put you on standby. Hopefully no one shows up. If not, you can leave later on and connect to another airport and then make it to [final destination].
Me: What?
AE: (sounds annoyed) I book you on later flight. You connect in Chicago, have a layover of three hours. Then get to [destination].
Me: So I'll definitely get to [destination] tomorrow?
AE: Hopefully. What color is your luggage? If you make flight I need to tell workers what color your luggage is.
Me: (Note: I have no idea what color my luggage is. Since I'm moving I used everyone else's bags: these colors are in no way exact.) Black, blue...purple. Two bags are black and gray. (The only ones I am sure of.)
AE: What and gray?
Me: Black and gray.
AE: Brack and gray? (It should be noted that this employee has a Chinese accent.)
Me: No, black and gray.
AE: Brack?
Me: No, black.
AE: Brack?
Me: No, black.
AE: Brack?
Me: No, BLACK. B-L-A-C-K. Black. B as in boy, L as in--"
AE: I know. (Rudely.) Check with employee in the morning, see what they can do. I have other customers waiting. Hopefully your bags make it there.

The next morning...my adventurous aunt goes to talk with the new airline employee on duty. This employee is extremely friendly and very chirpy, which I am not after spending the night in the airport. (That is a story for my novel.)
Me: Hi. (Explain situation.) We were given tickets to here, and we were wondering if there were any earlier flights.
AE #2: She looks at the tickets and then back at us. "Do you know you're going to Chicago?" (Not our ultimate destination.)
Me: Yes. She said we connect there to [destination.]
AE #2: Let me check. (Click, click, click.) No-o-o. Here you go, honey--you're leaving at 8:30, direct flight there.
Me: (Openmouthed, in complete and utter shock.) What?
AE #2: Here are your tickets...(the rest is history. Suffice it to say I cheered up. Not only was there an earlier flight with available seats, it was a direct flight. I was seated with the people I was traveling with, and it was a great flight.)

You can't make this stuff up.

3) Two star hotels don't always live up to their reputations. We chose one thinking we'd only be there for two nights, and let the records show I would almost enjoy the airport more. I'd feel safer, somehow. Choose hotels (or in my case, the place where people stay after they are released from jail) with care. This one had a tub I was scared to use for fear of foot fungus and other diseases, a TV that didn't work, a remote taped together, funky smells, and much, much more. Never think that stars don't matter when choosing a hotel. Places are not rated for nothing--heed the stars!

4) This should have been included above, but better late than never. 76-year-old women can be very, very stubbourn. Airport security should be given medals for dealing with this. My grandma--and I love her to death--was nearly arrested by airport security for being a terrorist. Before we even went to security we were asked if we had any liquids in our carryons. We said no. We get to security, and my aunt and I said no. My mother had forgotten and took out travel-sized bottle of hairspray. She had to go buy a plastic bag for it. My grandmother puts her carryon--all fifty pounds of it--onto the conveyor belt and opens it up. "Does this count?" she asks the security guard. He looks inside. Inside of her bag is every single item on the "Banned" list at security. 24-oz bottles of the good shampoo and conditioner, lotion, hairspray...the whole kit and caboodle. And to top it off my grandma starts arguing with him. "I'm not a terrorist! I can't bring this? And this? And this?" The guard went through every item. The only word I heard him say was "No. No. No. No." On and on the merry-go-round went. My aunt and I went through security and pretended we didn't know her. We left my poor mama to deal with it. When Grandma finally came through after practically being strip searched she told us she was going to go back and take everything out of the trash. We had to drag her away.

Grandma may sound naive, but let it be known that is a frequent traveler. She has flown more than anyone I've known, and after asking her why she brought all of that stuff with her in her carryon she replied "I've gotten through before. I'm not a terrorist."

Enough said.

5) Cops are always going to be where you least expect them. They will show up the one time you're breaking the speed limit, driving an unmarked car. My warning happened not on the busy interstate or state road, but in...my...apartment complex. The speed limit is 15 mph, and I was going 20. That qualifies. Save yourself the time and tears--go the speed limit! Let people honk and flip you off for being that idiot driver from another state who doesn't know how to drive outside of that state. It will save you a ticket and a headache.

There are more life lessons to come. I think you're always learning something new. I am learning how to find my way around here, how to tell people "no," and how people get new license plates since there apparently are no DMV's down here.
Questions I have?

Why don't people in this state have to get yearly inspections and display their registration stickers?

Why do people, in a 60 mph zone, either go 80 or 30? Isn't there a happy medium...say, 60?

Why do people not signal AT ALL when changing lanes? Am I the only one bothered by this? Are the taillights, whatever lights are the changing lanes lights broken down here? In every vehicle?

Why does traffic slow for now reason at all?

Why do people attempt to pass if it takes them ten minutes to pass one car with twenty cars behind them...then finally pass and not get into the other lane to let the cars behind them pass?

Was spelling not really pushed in school down here? Case in point: at Wal-Mart there was a recently married couple there. I knew because of the cans tied to their car and the sign on the back window pronouncing them "jess marreed." True story.

Are all cell phone warranties null and void the minute something happens to your phone? My friend had a warranty on hers, and it went null and void the minute she brought the phone in to have it replaced. The reason? It dropped and broke, and the warranty doesn't cover it being dropped. What, then, does the warranty cover?

I have many, many, MANY more observations and questions on life down here that I will be sharing when I am not bone tired. If you have made it this far into this post congratulations--you have officially wasted an hour of your time. I hope it has made your day go faster, and hopefully you are having a better day because of it. I leave you with one question.

Why did they take "$40 a Day" off of TV? I miss that show.

Summer Fun

Yes, it's another lovely summer up here in Northern New York. I haven't blogged in forever--it feels weird to be doing it now. I have had such a busy summer, though--whatever happened to my days spent watching soap operas and basically doing nothing during the summer? Another bad part of growing up, I guess. It still stinks, though! I mean, I haven't been able to watch "Young and the Restless" or "the Bold and the Beautiful" all summer. This is prime TV viewing for those of you who don't watch soaps, though. Let me fill you in on what I've been able to glean from my weekly catchups in the Sunday newspaper. It's so funny! let's see--

On "Y&R" Nick cheated on Sharon with Phyllis, Sharon found out, initially wanted a divorce but then slept with her brother-in-law and changed her mind, then kissed him last week and decided that she does want a divorce. It's okay with Nick, though, because Phyllis is pregnant and Nick's decided to stay with her and raise the baby, forgetting about Sharon and Nick's 8 year old son Noah. Poor kid.

then, on "B&B", Taylor, who's become an alcoholic this year, got a call from her daughter Phoebe on a foggy night. Phoebe had gotten a flat tire and while talking to Taylor dropped her phone, and Taylor assumed the worst. She rushed out drunk to find Phoebe, but in the meantime Phoebe called her aunt Darla, who rushed to help her. Darla is Taylor's ex sister-in-law, and since we found out she was going to bite the bullet has gotten more airtime in the past week than in her entire 17 years on the show. Anyway, instead of calling Triple AAA on a busy highway Darla decides to change the tire herself. As luck would have it she wrenches a lugnut loose and falls backward into the road. This is the point where Taylor conveniently drives through the fog and hits Darla head on. Their eyes meet!...and the screen fades to black. Quite a hook, huh? Oh--and Nick and Brooke are married! Finally--it's time to Ridge to find his soul and move on without being attached at the hip to his mother. Not that I'm the best at my job, but I honestly do not know how the guy who plays Ridge ever got a job as an actor. I cannot stop laughing whenever I see him on screen--he can't act! All the soap women swoon over him, and I just don't get it. Is it the girly necklace he wears?

Now that you've all discovered the compelling storylines of soaps, do you see why it's must-see TV? And I haven't been able to watch it all summer! As usual, the plans I make never end up happening. I planned at working all summer, but lo and behold--in order to graduate next May I needed to take three summer classes. I just finished my first one, and started my second and third one this week. Of course they're horrible, and I'm just praying that I pass. I am also a sucker, so I agreed to work--since I was up here anyway for my classes--on campus where I work during the school year. So I'm working and going to class here five days a week--and of course my class is at 8 in the morning. I leave my house at twenty after six, and I'm here by twenty-quarter of. So, in addition to this I am also working at my summer job during the week and pulling a twelve hour shift on the weekends. I spend my Sunday's doing homework, and I....am...completely....EXHAUSTED. This is what I've been leading up to. I am usually a person who can get up and do things, but getting up so early, then going to class, work, class, work, work, then home and homework, I'm not getting to bed until after midnight. I want sleep! I'm excited to get five and a half hours in...SO sad.

Okay--I promise I'm done complaining. I just feel like this summer has flown and I haven't done anything fun or productive. I'm glad I don't have to go an extra semester, although I almost ended up having to do so despite the summer classes...that's for another blog, though. I have to get started on my homework, but say tuned for some more family redneck evidence.

My uncle got married last week. Congrats to him, but...oh my. First of all, it was a weekday wedding. Monday night--he got the night off from work, so that was just the night they decided on. It was at their family barn, complete with bales of hay for us to sit on and farm smells. the bride and groom wore jeans and flannel shirts, and my uncle wore his steel-toe work boots. My now-aunt had on flip-flops, but I completely understand that. Sadly. Anyway, after the justice of the peace said "you may kiss the bride" both my uncle and aunt turned, went to the cooler next to them, grabbed beers, popped them open and then clinked cans, took a drink, and kissed.

Just wait--it gets better! We waded out through the muddy yard to the reception on the back porch. the porch will sit about five people, so we were free to wander throughout the house and around the yard and sit in the lawn chairs we were instructed to bring with us. (We were told this on our invitations, which were lined pieces of notebook paper.) There was music, I have to say--the local country radio station did a great job of playing such romantic love songs as "Honkeytonk Badonkadonk" and "Beer for my Horses." I know I'll never forget their first dance to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks. It was great.

I ended up being sick the next day from eating--it turns out Ho-Ho's can expire, so if they taste weird DON'T EAT THEM. My grandmother supplied the soda, and she gets it already expired from my uncle's store because it's free--also another story for another blog--but it had only been expired for seven months. So, yes, believe it or not diet soda can expire. We were lucky--I've had a soda that's been expired for five years before. Before we left we saw them off on their honeymoon. We stood on the front lawn and cheered as they walked onto the porch and into their house...he had to be to work at six a.m. the next morning.

And the really, really sad part about all of this? It actually wasn't that bad. It was like a family bbq in a really deranged sort of way. I was commending them for thinking of how to cut costs. Weddings are so expensive, but they proudly told us it cost them 75$ for the whole shindig--50$ for the justice of the peace, 15$ for...well, I'm really not sure what that got spent on. The beer, maybe?

Anyway, it was another lovely family wedding. There will be another one next June--my brother is getting married. Believe it or not this one is going to be outside, but on a beautiful gazebo next to the river. The reception will actually be indoors, though, and I think there will be a DJ. I am SO looking forward to that--it's going to be so much fun.

Anyway--just a small update on what's been going on in my life. If you've read this far I commend you--you must really have nothing to do. I'm going to get back my homework before I go to class and fail a quiz. School--why can't I get away from it? If I'm sick of it now...smart move deciding to become a teacher.

Summer Fun

Yes, it's another lovely summer up here in Northern New York. I haven't blogged in forever--it feels weird to be doing it now. I have had such a busy summer, though--whatever happened to my days spent watching soap operas and basically doing nothing during the summer? Another bad part of growing up, I guess. It still stinks, though! I mean, I haven't been able to watch "Young and the Restless" or "the Bold and the Beautiful" all summer. This is prime TV viewing for those of you who don't watch soaps, though. Let me fill you in on what I've been able to glean from my weekly catchups in the Sunday newspaper. It's so funny! let's see--

On "Y&R" Nick cheated on Sharon with Phyllis, Sharon found out, initially wanted a divorce but then slept with her brother-in-law and changed her mind, then kissed him last week and decided that she does want a divorce. It's okay with Nick, though, because Phyllis is pregnant and Nick's decided to stay with her and raise the baby, forgetting about Sharon and Nick's 8 year old son Noah. Poor kid.

then, on "B&B", Taylor, who's become an alcoholic this year, got a call from her daughter Phoebe on a foggy night. Phoebe had gotten a flat tire and while talking to Taylor dropped her phone, and Taylor assumed the worst. She rushed out drunk to find Phoebe, but in the meantime Phoebe called her aunt Darla, who rushed to help her. Darla is Taylor's ex sister-in-law, and since we found out she was going to bite the bullet has gotten more airtime in the past week than in her entire 17 years on the show. Anyway, instead of calling Triple AAA on a busy highway Darla decides to change the tire herself. As luck would have it she wrenches a lugnut loose and falls backward into the road. This is the point where Taylor conveniently drives through the fog and hits Darla head on. Their eyes meet!...and the screen fades to black. Quite a hook, huh? Oh--and Nick and Brooke are married! Finally--it's time to Ridge to find his soul and move on without being attached at the hip to his mother. Not that I'm the best at my job, but I honestly do not know how the guy who plays Ridge ever got a job as an actor. I cannot stop laughing whenever I see him on screen--he can't act! All the soap women swoon over him, and I just don't get it. Is it the girly necklace he wears?

Now that you've all discovered the compelling storylines of soaps, do you see why it's must-see TV? And I haven't been able to watch it all summer! As usual, the plans I make never end up happening. I planned at working all summer, but lo and behold--in order to graduate next May I needed to take three summer classes. I just finished my first one, and started my second and third one this week. Of course they're horrible, and I'm just praying that I pass. I am also a sucker, so I agreed to work--since I was up here anyway for my classes--on campus where I work during the school year. So I'm working and going to class here five days a week--and of course my class is at 8 in the morning. I leave my house at twenty after six, and I'm here by twenty-quarter of. So, in addition to this I am also working at my summer job during the week and pulling a twelve hour shift on the weekends. I spend my Sunday's doing homework, and I....am...completely....EXHAUSTED. This is what I've been leading up to. I am usually a person who can get up and do things, but getting up so early, then going to class, work, class, work, work, then home and homework, I'm not getting to bed until after midnight. I want sleep! I'm excited to get five and a half hours in...SO sad.

Okay--I promise I'm done complaining. I just feel like this summer has flown and I haven't done anything fun or productive. I'm glad I don't have to go an extra semester, although I almost ended up having to do so despite the summer classes...that's for another blog, though. I have to get started on my homework, but say tuned for some more family redneck evidence.

My uncle got married last week. Congrats to him, but...oh my. First of all, it was a weekday wedding. Monday night--he got the night off from work, so that was just the night they decided on. It was at their family barn, complete with bales of hay for us to sit on and farm smells. the bride and groom wore jeans and flannel shirts, and my uncle wore his steel-toe work boots. My now-aunt had on flip-flops, but I completely understand that. Sadly. Anyway, after the justice of the peace said "you may kiss the bride" both my uncle and aunt turned, went to the cooler next to them, grabbed beers, popped them open and then clinked cans, took a drink, and kissed.

Just wait--it gets better! We waded out through the muddy yard to the reception on the back porch. the porch will sit about five people, so we were free to wander throughout the house and around the yard and sit in the lawn chairs we were instructed to bring with us. (We were told this on our invitations, which were lined pieces of notebook paper.) There was music, I have to say--the local country radio station did a great job of playing such romantic love songs as "Honkeytonk Badonkadonk" and "Beer for my Horses." I know I'll never forget their first dance to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks. It was great.

I ended up being sick the next day from eating--it turns out Ho-Ho's can expire, so if they taste weird DON'T EAT THEM. My grandmother supplied the soda, and she gets it already expired from my uncle's store because it's free--also another story for another blog--but it had only been expired for seven months. So, yes, believe it or not diet soda can expire. We were lucky--I've had a soda that's been expired for five years before. Before we left we saw them off on their honeymoon. We stood on the front lawn and cheered as they walked onto the porch and into their house...he had to be to work at six a.m. the next morning.

And the really, really sad part about all of this? It actually wasn't that bad. It was like a family bbq in a really deranged sort of way. I was commending them for thinking of how to cut costs. Weddings are so expensive, but they proudly told us it cost them 75$ for the whole shindig--50$ for the justice of the peace, 15$ for...well, I'm really not sure what that got spent on. The beer, maybe?

Anyway, it was another lovely family wedding. There will be another one next June--my brother is getting married. Believe it or not this one is going to be outside, but on a beautiful gazebo next to the river. The reception will actually be indoors, though, and I think there will be a DJ. I am SO looking forward to that--it's going to be so much fun.

Anyway--just a small update on what's been going on in my life. If you've read this far I commend you--you must really have nothing to do. I'm going to get back my homework before I go to class and fail a quiz. School--why can't I get away from it? If I'm sick of it now...smart move deciding to become a teacher.

Realizations

Have you ever had a big realization? I thought I had, but nothing like until this past weekend. (Great sentence structure for an English major, I know. Oh, well--I haven't graduated yet.) What, might you ask, was my realization? Okay, here it comes. Deep breath. It won't come as a big shock to many, but my family...is a bunch of rednecks.

That's right--the r-word. My family, much as it pains me to say, is full of rednecks. I thought I knew what rednecks were--the family on my bus who didn't believe in showering and whose words you couldn't understand. Don't get me wrong--I'm not trying to be mean. I just think that bathing should be something that everyone does daily. They were nice kids--I just didn't know what they were saying. Anyway, now that I sound like a total snob--and I'm not, believe me!--

How do I know that my family is redneck? I watched the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on TV this weekend, and throughout the entire program I'm pegging people in my brain that fit the descriptions being given. Every time they describe someone I'm like "I know them!" Then, to great shame, I realized that I fit some of those descriptions. So, if you care to read further, here is some evidence I've come up with to prove my realization.

1) Jeff Foxworthy made a comment about using Cool Whip bowls for salad bowls. Sadly...my family actually does this. Believe it or not we do have bowls that we use, but we save the Cool Whip bowls to store leftovers in and eat out of if our bowls are dirty. I used one this morning--I forgot to run the dishwasher last night.

2) My brother actually said "whidjadidja." This may be the correct spelling, but as Foxworthy said, "you didn't bring your truck whidjadidja?" My brother may have been saying it to be "cool," but he asked me this morning, "you didn't bring my movie whidjadidja?" No comment.

3) An episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" did change my mom's life. She loves that show. She has the biggest crush on Chuck Norris, and wants to hit us when we helpfully suggest that he looks our our uncle Buster, who she despises. But really, once you get past the smell, sexist attitude, and excess body hair...yeah, that's pretty much it.

4) My cousin reminds me of Ron White, the guy who's always drinking and smoking. My cousin doesn't drink or smoke, but he has the laid-back attitude. White cracks a joke about having some engine trouble on the plane, and the guy next to him freaks out and says "if one engine fails, how far will the other one take us?" White responds "all the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty handy, cause that's where we're headed. Bet we beat the paramedics there by a half hour!" I feel for the guy next to him. You see, last August there was some turbulence on our way back from Florida. I'm saying my prayers screaming on the plane, praying that we don't die amidst the life-threatening turbulence...and my cousin, sympathetic brother, sister, PARENTS...are all trying to start the wave.

5) Yes, like Bill Engvall, my uncle did ride an electric floor buffer. No tequila, just good old Labatt Blue. Enough said.

6) Another uncle, drunk (BIG surprise with most of my family), decided to streak naked down the populated street--in front of the ELEMENTARY school, no less--and then, when the police stopped him and went to I presume arrest him after chasing him back to my grandmother's house, he decided he had to go and peed on the police car. Meanwhile, my other two uncles took two pieces of computer paper and wrote down scores for his performance: 8.5 and 9.2. He did pretty good, and we all decided it was even funnier to take the moment and view it as a photo opportunity. We had a great Christmas card that year.

7) Our dinners when we eat together as a family. Another one of my uncles lives near a main road, but lives close enough to the woods that all kinds of creatures come out near his house. He sets traps and sometimes sets them free. Other times, though, he eats them. And this isn't normal stuff. I'm not talking rabbit, deer, anything that maybe normal people would eat. This is stuff that is so gross I can't even mention it--let's just say I've eaten more kinds of meat than anybody in the world.

8) My aunt has three teeth, and two are black. My brother calls her "Captain Jack." I feel so bad for her, because I've had so many teeth problems...but come on.

9) When I share stories of my weekend activities and what my family is up to, my coworkers and friends crack up and/or edge slowly away. They either think I'm hilarious or nuts, and I didn't realize until college that most families are not like my own. They don't do things like play "guess the meat!" at a family gathering. And no...the choices are not "chicken, beef, or pork." Use your imagination--we have to.

10) We have family videos of my uncles pretending they are the Dukes of Hazzard. The doors on my uncle's car worked, but he still liked pretending he was Bo Duke. There's a video of my uncle jumping in through the window...then not getting in all the way and falling back out of the car. Meanwhile, my other uncle tries to do the same thing on the opposite side of the car. He goes for it...and gets stuck. His booted toe got jammed between the emergency break and the seat, and he could not get it unstuck. Yes, it was a fun phone call to the fire department that day. Plus, my uncle had to pay back my grandfather--who had been laughing hysterically on the ground--for the damage done to the car, since my uncle had no money to pay for it himself at that point in time.

So...there you have it. I could present you with more evidence, but I'm exhausted. I have tons more I want to say, but it'll have to wait until next time. I, along with my family, am a redneck. That is my big realization of the weekend. And, after writing this down, taking a trip down memory lane...I don't care. My family may be crazy and full of psychotics, but I love them. They're my crazy family. We are...rednecks. So, you have my permission--go ahead, use "whidjadidja." I bet you'll become a redneck too.

Yea, teaching!

In the past two days I have had the first graduate classes of my college career. I wasn't sure quite what to expect. I've heard so many opinions from people, most of them bad, about the program I'm in. Then I went to class. It's definitely going to be a lot of work, but it's different work than what I've done so far. It's fun work--things that will actually help me when I become a teacher.

And I'm relieved. Relieved, because, though it will be along road and a lot of work, I know that teaching is what I want to do. There's always been this doubt in the back of my mind that I've been doing the wrong thing, working towards something I'd never do. I'm always second-guessing myself, thinking that I should have done things different. And I probably should have, but didn't, so now I'm on a different path. And I wouldn't change a thing. Now I know, or at least know right now, that I want to be a teacher. I can't wait to get into that classroom and teach--little kids, though. I'm not that brave. To be able to help them learn, to help them want to go to school every day...it's exciting. I'm not saying it would be fun and great all the time, but right now it sounds like a more exciting and rewarding job than anything else I can think of.

So for tonight I'm going to forget the negative attitudes and other things I've been told and just remember how interesting my classes were. Maybe that attitude will change, but for now I'm happy. For now, for me...that's enough.

Likeness

It happens at the weirdest times. I'll be doing some random thing, and then it pops into my head: I am like my parents and the rest of my family. I see in me random characteristics of my other family members. I can be funny at select times, like my father and Poppy, except they are always funny; I worry WAY too much, which is exactly like my mother, but worse; I hum to myself at random times and love soap operas, just like Nana; I have terrible road rage, like my older sister; I can be incredibly lazy, like my brother; and I can be happy doing something all the time without stopping, like my younger sister.

And I'm happy.

I'm happy that I'm like them. Who ever thinks they will say that? I never did. All I know is, at this point in time--everything is good. All is right with the world, and I am content in what I believe is going to happen and with what is coming up. That'll probably change in five minutes, but as of right now I'm happy. I aced my parody presentation yesterday. I had to make a parody and present it to the class, and I parodied a soap opera. If I do say so myself it was pretty good: everyone laughed when they were supposed to, which is a good sign. Classes are over!! And besides a few paper revisions and studying for finals, I am basically done with school. The semester is almost over. And, cycling back to my original point, I am like my family. As crazy as they are, as nuts as they drive me sometimes, I'm happy that I'm like them. All those characteristics make me the neurotic person that I am, and barring getting my final grades right before Christmas I've gotten pretty far.

I don't know what's wrong with me--I think it's the holiday season. I've been thinking more and more about my grandparents, and I can't get them off my mind. I just miss them so much. I want things to be like they used to be, to be able to stop by their house and just talk. They are--were--the greatest people. It was bad enough not having Poppy last Christmas, but to lose Nana, too--okay, getting way too sappy here. Okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Back to my original point, which gets lost here somehow in my rambling on and on: I am like my family.

Thank God.

My Worst Enemy

It happened. I have to admit, I was hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that it wouldn't. But who was I kidding? After all, I have lived in Northern New York my entire life, except for a glorious four month span a few years ago when I lived in Florida. THAT was the life--I can't wait to get back down there. My education has kept me chained here for way too long, and I can't wait to get my degree and go somewhere where they've never seen it.

I was happy all day, because it didn't come. It was supposed to, but it didn't--it was just really, really cold. But I was fine--after all, it wasn't coming down. But it did come down--I went out after dinner, and my friend looked out through the glass doors and said--well, what she said is unrepeatable. I looked outside, and I didn't see anything. (My night vision is horrible.) I thought it was raining. She just looked at me.

That's right. It wasn't rain. It was...snow. White, cold, wet, makes the roads slippery and icy and not good at all. Snow. My worst enemy. It sounds sad, but I can't enumerate how much I hate it. I do NOT like snow. I HATE snow. I can't say it enough, but I'll spare you and not say it again for a moment. I seriously wanted to start crying right then and there. It sounds pathetic, but it means that it's over. Summer...fall...it's over. Winter has officially arrived. And I'm depressed.

And I shouldn't be. I mean, I got registered for the classes I wanted, I don't have that much work to do, next week is Thanksgiving!!...but I'm still depressed. Because of it. I just love warm weather. Wearing a light jacket isn't bad, but I love the warm breeze. I went to Florida in August and the sand on the beach was white, warm...it was wonderful. To be able to drive or just look out the window and see palm trees. There were torrential downpours too, and horrible traffic, but it was...I don't know how to describe it. I didn't mind it as much down there as I do up here. Every night I'd just sit outside and enjoy the warmth and things around me. It was so peaceful--I was so happy. And now...and now...I'm sitting here in my cold, unheated dorm room, staring outside at the white flakes coming down that look innocent, but that I despise with a passion.

I hate snow.